This post is also available in: Italiano (Italian)
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Today, 2 November, is what we call All Souls’ Day and in Italy cemeteries are full of people, often travelling from distant places to pay homage to their dear departed by visiting their grave. This is one of those days in which those who have lost a loved one to physical death feel especially close to them, especially if they have been brought up to believe that what happens after death is none of our business.
So I thought this would be an excellent opportunity to share with you what I feel are the three basic steps a person grieving the loss of a loved one might find helpful to take in order to make it easier to gently reconnect with those they feel they have lost, assuming this is what they wish and feel comfortable about.
Based on my own personal experience, the biggest hindrance when we are deeply in grief is grief itself: we might find it difficult to concentrate, we might have mixed feelings ranging from pain to anger to disbelief, we might feel confused about what we were taught about the afterlife, assuming we were brought up within a religion or philosophy that contemplates the idea that life continues after death… In other words, we might actually question the whole issue of whether an Afterlife exists.
If you are a person who is grieving the loss of a loved one and would like to find a way to gently reconnect with the person you are so much missing, we also need to take into account that at this particular time you might be subconsciously fearing the idea of facing your own mortality or even subconsciously fearing that, if you investigate the topic thoroughly, you might not find enough evidence to prove that life continues after death. You may be fearing annihilation, you may be fearing that, because you do not hear from your loved ones and do not dream about them and do not feel them close to you, they might no longer exist, they might have lost their personal identity, they might have reincarnated into somebody else or they shouldn’t be disturbed.
So, if you are feeling confused at this time and would like to know more about the topic, I would like to share with you 3 tips which might ease the situation and more specifically make it easier for you to realise that death is not the end, that death is, in fact, a reawakening from an illusion, and that when we die we feel more alive than we have ever felt during this physical life and even closer than we ever did to those who were dear to us.
In other words, this blog post is dedicated to you, assuming you feel comfortable about the subject and somehow sense that spirit contact IS a possibility.
Step #1: Read first-hand accounts about how gentle death is and what the spirit world is like
Now, I believe I have spent my whole life implementing step one. First of all, I have read many, many accounts of near-death experiences, especially since 1975 when Dr Moody published his famous book Life After Life. These accounts are shared by people who, for one reason or another, have been clinically dead for a short period, ranging from a few seconds to several minutes. There are many resources where you can find accounts about after-death experiences and some of them are listed here: http://www.near-death.com/, http://iands.org/ndes/about-ndes.html; http://www.nderf.org/.
Another source of written accounts about transition and death comes from mediums, especially deep-trance mediums, who, through automatic writing or other means, have tried to accurately report what deceased communicators explain about death and what happens when we die.
My third source of evidence comes from my 25-year experience as astral traveler: I have shared a number of accounts (on various message boards, in articles and books) about how the process of dying was explained to me, not only during out-of-body experiences (which I realise are not easy to achieve), but also in dreams and lucid dreams (that is dreams in which we are aware that we are dreaming).
In the beginning, reading these accounts felt a bit confusing, because they clashed with the fact that I had been brought up with the idea that we are not supposed to question what happens after death. Yet, for some reason, I have always been attracted by the idea of investigating the subject and, to my surprise, I found that all these accounts had many facts in common: for instance and most importantly, they all suggested that (if death comes when it is supposed to come, that is when it is not self-inflicted) it is such a gentle process that one might actually find it difficult to realise that it has happened, or to detect ‘when’ it happened exactly; the other fact I found is that, besides being a gentle process, it is also a very peaceful experience, during which one is never alone, feels constantly safe and looked after, feels a blissful sense of love and belonging as if one were at last back Home and, last but not least, one is joyfully met by relatives and loved ones who have passed on before.
Even though it may feel troubling to have one’s preconceived ideas, or lack of ideas, challenged, this step is very important, because it gradually gives you the opportunity to put yourself in your loved one’s shoes and realise that the most important thing they wish to communicate may be as trivial as ‘I’m alive!’, ‘I’m safe!’, ‘I’m well!’, I’m healed!’. I realise that most sceptics would find it ridiculous to base the belief that life continues after death on a message such as one of those I have mentioned, yet, let’s face it: if we were to die and knew that there were people in pain here trapped in the physical dimensional wondering about what happened to us and had the chance to communicate with them… what would our message be?
So, even if it takes time to go through these accounts, even if it requires a lot of patience on your side and perseverance too, at a time when you find it difficult to focus and concentrate, I highly recommend you implement this step.
As I mentioned, the key insight I can offer about the importance of implementing this step is the fact that it will enable you to put yourself in the shoes of those you wish to hear from.
Step #2: Realise that the key message at the core of all religions and near-death-experience accounts is LOVE
Now, this second step may sound very basic and elementary, yet it is crucial. In this physical dimension, it is difficult to realise that, at a spiritual level, we are not separate and that LOVE is what really makes the difference. Those who have reported a near-death experience very often point out that this is the key fact they learn about and then implement when they come back to life: this means that harming somebody else deliberately is the same as harming ourselves; it means that gossiping about other people is the same as having other people gossiping about us (just another way of harming ourselves); it means that feelings of anger, aggressiveness, envy, competition, jealousy, scarcity and any other form of negativity about other people will separate us not only from the rest of the living but also from our loved ones on the other side.
Another important fact about this second step is that LOVE is the Golden Rule at the core of any religion. If religions or religious beliefs lead to separation, conflict or war, this means that they are forgetting the core divine wisdom which is at their source. Separation and competition are man-made concepts. So, once again, if we want to put ourselves in our loved ones’ shoes and get a chance to communicate with them or hear from them, it is important that we understand this key fact: that we are all bound together (the living and the so-called ‘dead’) by LOVE and we are all made of the same essence, spirit.
Why is this step important? Because, if we realise that we are all made of the same essence (spirit) and realise that separation is an illusion, it becomes natural for us to tune into the spirit dimension our loved ones are communicating from.
The top tip I can provide for this step is an exercise whereby we pretend that we already know that we are all one and that harming in any way another person is the same as harming ourselves
There are plenty of resources online about the Golden Rule. Here is just one of the many links that will provide evidence about the fact that the key message at the core of all religions is LOVE: https://kidworldcitizen.org/world-religions-golden-rule-across-cultures/. No wonder so many near-death-experiencers come back with the knowing that all religions are equally precious.
Step #3: Believe and know that, once you understand these very basic notions about the importance of LOVE and the fact that death is a reawakening from a temporary illusion, you can awaken on this physical plane and realise our loved ones are always with us
Here comes the third step, which can only be implemented after the other two: getting to believe, finding it natural to believe that, once we understand this very basic notion that LOVE is at the core of all world religions and at the core of near-death experience accounts, we realise it is also at the core of our higher and wiser understanding that we are all made of the same essence.
This step is important because there is plenty of evidence that, if we expect something to be true, it becomes much easier for us to accomplish what it is we want to achieve. I started by using the word believing, as I typed out the heading for this step, but believing is also used as a synonym for hoping: the meaning I really wish to convey is knowing. So, when we reach the point where we know these basic things to be true, it becomes automatic for us to be able to implement the practical techniques required to understand after-death communication and the fact that it’s much easier for our loved ones to connect with those they love rather than with somebody they never knew.
The key insight involved by expecting something, knowing something, rather than simply hoping for it to happen, is that, when we reach that point, it is statistically proved that amazing things can become possible. As some of my readers know, I have been blessed with the opportunity of spontaneously, and then deliberately, experiencing about a thousand of out-of-body experiences over the last 25 years, which then led to other forms of after-death communication that can be taught and learnt: so it is easy for me to state that we can connect with our loved ones in several different ways because I know it to be true.
Nonetheless, I cannot stress enough how important it is to realise that deep grief is a hindrance in our case and that even experienced, professional, certified mediums can find it difficult to connect with their loved ones when they have recently suffered a loss. So PATIENCE is of paramount importance.
Now that I have shared these three tips with you, if you feel comfortable about step 1, 2 and 3, I’d like to offer you a gift, and that is a promotional code to obtain my book The Afterlife: Hereafter and Here at Hand at Smashwords for $ 0.99. This amount will simply cover the costs involved in making the e-book available at Smashwords and the code will be valid until 21 November.
Click here to grab your copy: http://fracieloeterra.org/en/special-offer/
The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique found in her books or articles as a form of treatment for medical problems. The intent of the author is only to help readers in their quest for physical, emotional and spiritual wellbeing. For medical advice, readers are invited to seek professional help.